I'm still trying, to figured out why are good women deserve bad guys and bad guys deserve good women- some things that I could never relate of. Wasn't it supposed to be that, good are meant for good? Why are the good ones, get hurted- is it because they are good? I wonder.

It was great, at the very start.-

I am the most, soft-hearted person to someone I love. I would do anything, to keep them happy in so many ways eventho, I am not. The more the people I love takes, the more I give. But that was just a story untold, behind every woman's smiles there are hidden wounds that are still nt being healed.

Back when I was still a young, naive girl. Met a boy who'd I thought would be my first and last. I thought we would lasted, forever. But in forever, there's an OVER. 2 years, seems to be in a short-terms of loving someone but within that times, I was struggling in schools & wanted to work hard, for our future. But- things went wrong, I've tried my best to save but I failed. I was being left, in the worse way no one could never felt.

That's what happened, when you gave too much. When you love too much. When you're willing to sacrifice your time, too much. It all ended up, in a worse way. The person you once loved, becomes the person you will hate, forever.

It takes two to tango- I did my very best. But it's him, who never fight fr this love.
--- Being cheated on fr several times, yet I'd still forgive him. But that was just a lesson fr me,
     to never, stays with a cheater. Once a cheater, there's no turning back of being loyal.

I was in pain, we don't communicate since i'm in my exams & left me on the day my exams result pop out- I was down on my knees, head on the ground and I couln't get back up. I didn't perform well on my trials exams, bc I can't focus on my studies. All I could think about was him.

Later on, I realized that he was never the one fr me. My hatred towards guys are unexplainable- I get back up and fight for my worth. I become heartless, as I thought I would never be one.

But- 2 days before my last finals paper.. I met a guy.

Never trusted him at the first place but somehow, he keeps on show me his efforts of wanting me. I refused to say no, so much that I could never remember. But later on, he wins my heart.

He is the love that come, without any warnings, any signs.

The nightmare begans in here- I fell for him. But then, I found out he has a girlf. I'm confronting him and he keeps on denying about it. I wasn't really unsure, I tried my best to communicate with his girl. He should never, did this nasty shit towards her.

I'm stuck-in between. But the second I faced with him and fell for his comforting-sweetest lies, I trusted in him. Bc, that girl was struggling her ass of on finals, she studied in US. She don't have any ideas- what does her boy do in here, KL.

I really thought they broke up- bc of what he told me. He was happy with me. I was intrigued by his style, I kept on says to him that I was in a heartbreak. He says, he will cure that pain. He will be the one. He don't just say, he shows in actions too. How can I not fell? After all, i'm still a girl-with a kind-hearted & let him being my heart holder. But it only lasts for awhile.


I'm out of words- one fool, one liar.

It all ended with, " I will go, for your good. " he said. After he has fucked up, and being the most professional liar, he should get a reward for playing with two souls, at once.

I feel sorry for his good girl, fr being cheated on in the worse way. She's educated and indeed deserve a guy on her levels.

While me, I have promised to myself that I would never falls for anyone-anymore. I have had enough, facing with broken hearts. From soft-hearted to cold-hearted real quick.

The good one are hurting, the bad ones kept on searching fr another victims.

Will heal this pain, by my own-self.

" She's scared to open her heart,
   Won't let anybody in,

   When will she ever tryna love again? "

It's been awhile since i havent update my blog yet, so yea here it is. hello and assalammualaikum readers. how you guys doing? good? bad? well, me? im fine as usual. christmas's approaching and tik tok tik tok its 2014 already. how time flies huh? tbh 2013 such a fucked up year ever ive been thru. Allah has test me so many things this year. Patient, believing, loving & etc. Feels like giving up but then i know i can handle this. Stay strong & calm myself down, thats what i always do this year. Friends stabbing your back, teachers pilih kasih, senior always trying to put me down, crush giving me high hopes. I have so many friends, but there only 1 or maybe 2? that understand me very well. the rest? is big NO NO!

note to myself; keep my patience high.

friends sometimes can be foes. choose them wisely, just because their nice with you doesnt mean they really want to be your bestfriends. maybe they're become more closer with you just for their own benefits? we dont know. Wallahu' alam.  Im telling this because ive been thru all of these shits. my " bestfriend " are my worst enemy. And my worst " enemy " becomes my bestfriend. Ha think.

note to self; dont think that everyone is nice. 

school's opening soon, i hate that school. i mean, im not hating the " school " i just hate the people. bitches everywhere lol pardon me for saying this but I never like it there. The mentality and surroundings is just.. not so me yeah. i seriously want to move from that school, but still working on it. Guess i will be moving on after I have done my PT3 exams, which is I'll be schooling in diff school bila masuk form 4. The more I hate this school, the more it gaves me so much memories to remember. I'm the naught-iest girl, I must admit that. Me and my friends, we did something to be remember. After all, the teachers loves us eventho we're always messed up. I don't really into my batch-mates, I'm more close to my senior. Idk, that's just me since i'm in primary school lol. 

note to self; if can't vibe, leave

next year ill become senior for 2nd session. which is, senior petang lah kan. Lol tbh I never like school that works on evening, as much as I hate waking up in the morning i'd prefer morning class that petang lol. But it's only a year, fighting dearselfff. Can't wait to explore the good things next year. May all the prayers that I prayed, comes true. 

note to self; happiness is temporary, enjoy while it still last